pain

as the pains of life begin to take a hold on your life... dragging you down into a darkening abyss that never seems to end... the pain is pushing you to the limit... you think you can not handle anymore of it then yet another thing hits you... dragging you ever deeper into the darkest abyss on this earth... very few people make it to this point without breaking... but those who do and continue on are those elite soldiers.... those select few that God gave amazing strength to even go through such a thing... those who can make it past this... belong to Gods elite forces on earth... his soldiers... these people are no mere humans... they are followers of God... and he has blessed them... with the gift of strength and wisdom... to even get through the majority of it... it takes someone with unimaginable strength... i have been through this my self... people... have not the slightest clue what people have gone through.. and those who this has happened to know where i am coming from... God keeps those who are close to him safe and blesses them greatly... he has blessed me with someone to help me ease this pain... and her name is Allie... thank you so very much... for everything you have done... and thank you for every one who has been there through the years

what i think

Death is something every one will experience at one point in their life... it is unavoidable... death is a funny thing though... it may take the people that we love away from us... but they are still here... they are still looking over you... and though they may be gone physically... they still live on in our hearts...... and though they are gone... they are still here... the memories that they left will linger for a while...

life as the human race knows it is coming to an end... when... only God knows... God is coning back soon... and he will call his children home.... where we'll have prefect bodies and a perfect place to live... at the presence of God... God will make a new earth... and those who are faithful to God shall inhabit this earth

life is never as it seems... you may think that you are going in the right direction just to find out that you got turned around and are going back... life is full of twists and turns.. mountains and valleys... life is a gift from God... every breath we take is something God gave us.. and we take for granted that we live even today.... God could take us at any time he wants to...

Live... Laugh.... Love.... my 3 L's of life... what are yours? mine are my basic philosophy for life... i live to laugh and love... and i live because of God... without him... nothing would exists... not us... not the world... so... Live... Laugh.... Love.... what are your 3 L's?

If you love someone... tell them... because you may not get a second chance at it... i know from experience that if you don't move quickly... someone else will move in... then you are looking for someone else... being alone is never fun... but you are never alone... if you are saved you have God to talk to... and he is always there

plans, love, teens

sometimes plans go astray... the way you go may not be the way you planned to go down... and you may have to give up somethings to get to that point... the things you give up may be your friends you thought would be with you till the day you died... or even a part of yourself... but you know... the things you give up.. may come back better then when they left..
most people think that teenage years are the easiest years of their life..... teenage life is hard.. and we are in the time of our life when we start having to break ties with friends we've had for a long time... we are loosing friends we cared for... but we make new ones... we move on... and those who don't will not survive in the real world...
they say love is something that binds you... but i have a love that has set me free.... free of the memories that have haunted me for a long time... this love... grows stronger each day... both to her and to God... love is a feeling few get to feel the full extent of... but those how have... know what i am talking about.... being in love is something that you must feel for yourself... no one else can feel it for you... if you wait and ask God about it... He'll grant you a love if you stay faithful... and she/he may find you instead of you finding them... that's how my love came to be

emotions.... for the weak.... or the strong?

emotions are considered for the weak... for those who have nothing within... for those who are weak at heart... i thought that for many years... because i felt none of them... no love... no happiness... no joy... no sorrow... no fear... i felt nothing.. so i thought that feelings where for those that where weak... and those who let their emotions get the better of them are weak... but it was until now that i failed to realize is that emotions are important to existence and that emotions are more then most can see... it took the love of my angel Allie... but now i know what emotions are like and how they effect the way you live...

love heals the wounded and cures the sick

Love is something that few got to feel the full extent of... Love is something that cures people that are ill and heals the wounds that no medicine of any kind could ever touch... These wounds are those of emotional turmoil and battles... these wounds run deeper then anyone could ever imagine... People have no clue what people who have these wounds have been through... They have been through the worst things... and they are mainly alone and running scared... most have been hurt as a child... or they have memories that they want to get rid of.... but these memories stay... and they run like a movie on repeat through their mind... Most would think these people to be insane... But i see these poor beings as people that need someone that will hold and protect them... I have been through my own trials and i have been through more then any one person should be put through... But instead of letting these things control my emotions and my actions... i have used them to enhance my abilities to cope with these things on a monumental scale... i have been through what most would call "Hell on Earth"... But i am glad i have been through it all... and through these times... you may seem alone... and you probably are scared... but you have nothing to fear... because once you've hit bottom... the only place left to go is up... and through these trials i have used the things i have experienced to develop and strengthen myself... i have lost most of my childhood... but through it... I have became stronger... smarter... and i have grown closer to my God... He has kept me alive through it all... And though what i've been through has stricken me of my emotions and my childhood... I have staid faithful to God... and he blessed me with the most beautiful angel that he could... This angel is named Allie.. and she is mine to hold forever...

through the dark

My past is a dark and unforgettable past... it has left me beaten and scared in more ways then one.. these scares run deep and are unhealable... as i walked alone in a path so dark that not even with the aid of a match could you see your own hand in front of your face... this place was darker then any place on earth... this place... was a place where i carried a burden... a burden only one person could bare... but should be carried by so many... but it was charged to I... The one that God trusted to keep this curse safe from the eyes of humanity... this curse is a burden that only an angel of God's highest caliber could bare.. I am known as Gabriel Wolfbane Phoenix.. I am an angel at the left hand of God... i am a dark angel... a cursed angel... one who shall bare an unbareable curse alone... this journey has left me exhausted and wounded... these wounds are physical and emotional.. i was left no child hood... no memories of anything good in my childhood... only glimpses of horrible images that was once my past... and me... the things i have done can not be undone... and what i would not give to go back and change that... to have friends... through the nine years i know of my 16 years on this earth... i walked alone and friendless... no one to call friend... no one who carried weather i lived or died... not a soul... i have been left alone for so long that my emotions are almost gone... no fear.. no joy... no happiness... no love... nothing at all.. not even mercy is left... i have become what some would call.... insane... but i assure you that i am saner then you... being robed of my emotions and my childhood.. i have become... faster.. stronger... smarter then most would ever hope to be... the only thing that i long for anymore... is someone... someone who will not run away... someone who will hold me close and not let go... someone who will love me.. for who i am... the past nine years have been hard... the last year was even harder... with the death of 2 of my grandparents... my life was falling apart at the seems... nothing was fitting together... i sought revenge for those i knew that could not defend themselves... i sought no mercy... the people i sought after were the scum of the earth... those who harm the weak... shall pay for what they have done.. and when i am done with them they will be begging me for death... and just as i was slipping even deeper into the darkness i was in... a light appeared and a hand reached out and a voice came from the light saying... "Grab my hand"... As the hand pulled me up.. i realized that it was not a man that cam to my rescue... it was a women... a lady... a teen age girl... with long blond hair... beautiful face... breathtaking eyes... and such a sweet voice.. as my eyes met hers... i knew at that moment that God sent her to save me.. she is prefect in every way imaginable... her name is Candance Elizabeth Lorelle... the one person i was looking for found me... and i am so thankful for that...

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